Revealed: The new parent worries that can take you by surprise

• First-time parents disclose the unexpected worries arising in the early weeks and months of parenthood, including: developing a ‘fear of flying’, ‘gorillas escaping from the zoo’, ‘navigating public transport’ and ‘being left alone with the baby’
• Parenting bloggers share their personal experiences and advice on how they tackled their biggest worries at the time
• All parents of children under four years are offered Post Office FREE Parent Life Cover to the value of £15,000 per parent, per child, for one year

Post Office Insurance^* has polled 2000 parents to uncover the unexpected worries that took new parents by surprise, and the steps they took to find peace of mind during what can be an emotionally overwhelming time.

Although most new parents know that having a newborn will result in sleepless nights, one in 20 (5%) were most surprised they found themselves worrying about loss of sleep and the amount of time and energy needed to look after a child. However, one in 13 (8%) parents were most taken back by the worry they felt about coping with a new-born and whether they were “doing it right”.

Our research also uncovered some of the more unusual things that were of concern to new parents. One parent said: “I love my cat and I was worried she wouldn’t bond with my new baby”, with one parent fearing being bombarded by people wanting to see their new-born: “my main fear was the house full of people I knew would arrive once the baby was born”. Whereas for one football fanatic parent, “not being able to watch Burnley F.C” was their main torment.

On the more serious side, the research revealed the most common worry amongst parents was a freak accident would occur affecting their family (46%).

Fears about not knowing how to ‘parent’ was the second (43%) most common worry and perhaps less surprisingly, many parents lost sleep worrying about whether they would be able to afford a child (42%). 

Psychologist, Linda Papadapoulous explains:“The fact that two in five parents worry about things such as not knowing how to parent, the cost of raising their youngster and even the fear of something bad happening highlights the notion that worry and concern about the future and wellbeing of one’s child is a normal part of parenthood. However, the problem is that worry can sometimes get out of hand leading parents to think of the worst-case scenario or exaggerate a perceived threat.

“As such it’s important to learn to challenge worries, try taking yourself out of the situation and putting your assumptions to the test. Ask yourself: ‘How realistic are they? Are you confusing possibility with probability? ‘What are the odds that the thing you fear will actually happen?’ Challenging negative or erroneous thinking will help you see things more clearly and deal with whatever challenges you face more productively.”

Parent to Parent

Dave, a daddy blogger at The DADventurer and Talya, mum of one from Motherhood the Real Deal, said they were worried they “wouldn’t know how to parent” their child. Dave added: “having never been around babies, everything was new to me”, with his advice to overcome the worries facing new parents being to read and research, as well as attend antenatal classes and get stuck in when the little one arrives. Whereas Talya said: “searching online can be useful, as you soon realise that everybody is learning on the job and sometimes speaking to friends and family about your concerns can really make you feel a lot better.”

Tania, a mummy blogger at Larger Family Life, was most worried and unprepared that something could happen to her leaving her baby without a mum. She said: “I had read baby books and the parenting magazines so I was prepared for the sleepless nights and nappy changing, but worrying about my own mortality really took me by surprise”. She said she’s now a mum of 13 and “although the worry never truly stopped, my advice to new mums is its ok to worry, everyone does, just go with it and you learn to trust yourself, your abilities and your instincts”.

Mum Alex who writes Bump to Baby explains: “I was surprised at how worried I was about how having a baby would affect my relationship with my husband.” To overcome this, her advice to new parents is to communicate and be honest. “Finding regular couple-time is important, be that when the grandparents offer to babysit or even when our boys go to bed – making time to just be together doing something you both enjoy really helps. Parenting is not always plain sailing – so letting go and forgiving small stresses quickly is important.”

Rob Clarkson, Managing Director of Post Office Management Services said: “Being a new parent can be a wonderful yet anxious time and many will relate to the 37% that told us they suddenly found themselves worrying about their own mortality and leaving their child uncared for. Our FREE Parent Cover can help give new parents some peace of mind. All parents of children under four years can get free Life Insurance to the value of £15,000 per parent, per child, for one year and with no obligation. It might just lessen one of new parent worries that must be endured in the early days/months/years of parenthood.”

[Parent case studies available upon request]